Many people believe that the problem is anxiety. After all, if that’s the main feeling that you’re experiencing, it means it’s the same feeling you need to get rid of and want a solution for, right? 😌
This direct approach to psychological problem solving/healing might work in real life, but it doesn’t work with feelings.
With feelings, you feel anxious, but the real reason why you feel anxious might be something else completely different, and I have plenty of real life examples that I see every day, here are some of the most common.
✅ Being anxious as a way to get your emotional needs met (attention, importance, connection, love);
✅ triggering yourself till you reach that stressed/burned out/anxious state because you when you get yourself in that state you have “special permissions” such as finally being a rebel, getting hysterical, having a false sense of confidence and telling people what you really think, be careless and saying what you really think and stop being a “good person” and pleasing people;
✅ anxiety as the “official mental health justification” of why you need a break from the responsibilities and weight of life because if you say that you just want to relax without justification people will judge and attack you and will think you are weak, lazy or irresponsible;
✅ anxiety as a way to avoiding facing that you don’t feel enough and unconsciously making yourself anxious instead of admitting what’s the real problem.
So often, anxiety is a replacement, a temporary compensatory mechanism that speaks for you when you are not directly acknowledging, honoring and expressing what you feel and need. 😏
You need a break? Just say it. You need a hug? Just say it. You need attention? Just say it. You don’t have to unconsciously create anxiety that will indirectly justify why you need a break, why you need a hug, why you want some attention or to be loved.
Why? Because if you want a break or a hug or some attention, your mind will find a way to get that need met in a way or another. You might as well admit it rather than being in denial. Just say it, admit it, own it.
With love, Giuseppe
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