This is for you if you want to develop an unshakeable self-esteem that no one can take away from you and doesn’t need any validation, and you want to finally create a solid inner peace. Many people with anxiety and dissociation have what I call the “indirect or fake self-esteem” complex which is actually the precursor to the ‘official’ anxiety and dissociation itself. Anxiety can simply be the byproduct of filtering your sense of identity, worth and esteem through people’s eyes, trying to get a feeling of validation, acceptance and love by editing your identity, feelings, worth, behaviors and decisions.
And since this filtering has no defined ending and always changes target and gets projected onto the next thing/ goal/ project/ achievement/ distraction, anxiety is simply the byproduct of this ever-moving shape-shifting internal turmoil that no matter what you do you’re not good enough, it’s not safe, I’m different, there’s something wrong with my feelings and intentions and decisions etc. Fake self-esteem is very fragile, it relies on ‘remembering’ previous states and impressions you’ve shown to people so you can keep the same coherency, there’s a strong effort in proving and convincing and impressing, but deep down it’s very emotionally unstable.
As I always say, when anxiety, overthinking and dissociation are not the real problem, why are you solving them? If this indirect self-esteem continues, no matter how much you fix the anxiety and dissociation symptoms, history is bound to repeat itself until you solve the real problem and create what I call direct or authentic self-esteem.
No this is not a tip to cope or get over it or “just do it” or stuff like that. This is the explanation of how your subconscious and emotions work so you really understand what’s going on, how you’re creating this, where to intervene precisely, what is not self-esteem and what is real solid self-esteem instead. This is for you if you’re tired of fixing symptoms and want to solve the real problem once and for all and you want to have the peace of mind that those symptoms are never going to bother you again. To your freedom!
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To Your Success!
– Giuseppe Tavella, DPDR & Dissociation Specialist