If you’re wondering “why am i always up in my head” “why do i overthink so much” here’s my answer 👌
Have you ever considered what we ACTUALLY do when we are thinking, predicting, overanalyzing, replaying conversations in our head, ruminating, etc.?
If you avoid sadness let’s say, you have to have an excuse not to feel it. This excuse is called “thinking”
If you avoid anger in yourself, you need to constantly project an image (to yourself and other people) that you are not angry but you actually feel happy.
That projection is called “editing yourself and trying to guess what people are thinking of you and progressively adapting how you appear based on what they want to see/hear that would not upset them” and it’s also called “thinking” 🤷♀️
If there’s a deep feeling of powerlessness and when you were small you’ve learned that you cant control when you were being traumatized/abused in any way, you’ve gotten used to retreat in your head.
That is called “need for control and the only place that i can control is thoughts because my body just cant deal with these feelings anymore” and thats where the need for control and predicting stems from
In your head you dont have to feel. You are not trapped in a body that feels so much. When you are in your head you are not trapped in the present moment; you can navigate wherever you like, guess, think, fantasize, hypothesize, predict, etc.
all wonderful things that give you the illusion of freedom and control and distract from whats really going on “down there in those scary places called body and present moment”
..and in all of this you’re constantly escaping, and when you keep escaping how are you supposed to grow?
There’s no growth in escaping; problems just keep accumulating and emotions keep being more repressed and hidden and keep remaining unprocessed 😅
And no, thinking more doesnt make you smarter — if you believe that thinking makes you smarter, then show me how you stop thinking and how you can adapt to the present moment. When you’re really smart at thinking, you also know WHEN to use it and when to switch it off
No, thinking more doesnt make you happier — if anything steals you the joy of the present moment
No, thinking more doesnt give you more control — if anything you lose more control because in escaping from this moment to control the next moment, this moment and your life keeps getting worse precisely when you think you have more control in your head
Now go, stop the excuses and apply
And if you tell me that you cant apply because [insert emotional details and logically coherent self-created story], you’re probably looking for validation not solutions.
There’s plenty of validation out there. Online groups and forums are filled with validation, poor you, im sorry for you, you’re justified to suffer because [insert victim validating psycho-analytical/scientific/biological explanation] says that you have [insert problem] and this is why it’s ok to be like this, sharing suffering in exchange for validation and being understood, etc
But you will not find it here. So get clear on what you want.
No solution, technique and method is ever going to fix an average and lazy mindset, let alone change your life.
Giuseppe Tavella, Dpdr & Dissociation Specialist