So how do you stop overthinking and how do you stop feeling disconnected from your emotions? Well you don’t stop anything.
The assumption and intellectual labyrinths you create in your mind to convince yourself what is the problem and its solution (it’s anxiety, I need to fix it! It’s overthinking, I need to fix it!) is blinding you from seeing what the REAL problem is.
More often than not, the real problem is not anxiety or overthinking or disconnection, but unclear, confused, unhealed, ambiguous emotions that the mind tries to explain in intellectual ways – and the more intellectually smarter you are, the more complicated this overthinking/mental activity gets. 🤷♀️
As a rule of thumb, you overthink because there’s a specific aspect about these emotions that could make you feel unsafe and the mind is scared that you are going to lose something – for example rather than just expressing your sweetness spontaneously you start overthinking what if people reject me,
what am I going to do when I will feel alone, what if I won’t be able to handle the hurt and it’s going to overwhelm me, what if when I’m alone I will feel so bad that my life will fall into pieces and I won’t be able to get up, what if at the point no one is going to be there for me because after all no one likes me, etc.
and there you go back in the mind overthinking, anxious and disconnected from emotions. As you can see it’s an anxiety-based thinking chain. 👌
And what do you do? You try and stop thoughts and anxiety and disconnection and get frustrated that you can’t stop. Well, if you trace back to what the real problem was, it’s not those thoughts, anxiety, disconnection, it’s simply that
(1) you are scared of feeling that uncomfortable and unfamiliar emotion and sensation in your body and try to dodge and keep it away by thinking your way around it 🧠
(2) as well as beliefs and stories you’ve been telling yourself and experiences where your subconscious mind has learned that people leave you when you reveal yourself. 😮
Now my sincere wish is that you appreciate to see the difference between what you think is the problem, and what is the real (for lack of better words) problem. Trying to stop thoughts, anxiety and disconnection is a futile attempt because these are just protections for the real thing.
The real thing is those emotions – that’s why clarifying, strengthening, loving, making space for and making peace with those emotions will make the positive change you’re looking for, feeling calm, at peace with yourself, safe in the world, safe around people and safe in your own body. To your freedom!
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