We have this instinctual disgust towards negative feelings and thoughts: We dont want them, we fight them, trying to get rid of them as soon as possible, escaping from them, being frustrated that the feeling/thought is still there, and all these subtle forms of resistances
Now.. notice something interesting.. in doing all of that, you’re ADDING another extra negative layer on top of that negative feeling you want to get rid of,
meaning that while you CONSCIOUSLY want it to go away, you are ACTUALLY feeding it!! 🤣
Ok i know this seems all abstract so what does it mean in practice??
❌ being irritated and hating that anxiety is here again makes it bigger in that you’re adding another layer of negative energy right on top of it
❌ hating that there’s a certain negative/intrusive thought that keeps re-appearing, and you directly try to make it go away – and that ends up strengthening that negative thought and draining your energies along the way
❌ there’s a certain feeling that you dont like to feel and you try to put it aside, and now you’re adding a layer of fear on top of that feeling, which in turn makes it stick around longer, and next time when that feeling/thought re-appears, it’s going to be loaded with even more negativity
You are literally creating energetic connections and attachments precisely with the feelings and thoughts you want to remove!!
So let me remind you the basic principles behind all of this and how to ‘remove’ negative thoughts and feelings:
✅ the more you dont want to think about something, the more you think about it
✅ one of the solutions to really get rid of these feelings/thoughts is to want MORE of them. You need to override that instinctual reaction of escaping and fighting and to consciously choose “i want more, give me more”
✅ the more you fight, resist, avoid, hate, get angry at feeling/thought, the more you’re loading it with more negative energy that stems precisely from that fear/hate/anxiety you have towards this feeling, which in turn is going to make that already negative feeling stronger
(more examples: hating that you feel angry because you shouldnt be angry, which in turn makes that anger more hidden and stronger.
Or not accepting that a person like you feels sad and now you feel frustration on top of sadness and that original feeling of sadness sticks around longer, becomes stronger and at the same more hidden and unconscious)
So let me give you a new way and solution 🎉
✅ you dont get rid of a thought/feeling by trying to directly get rid of it; thats only going to add more negative energy of anxiety/fear/hate/anger/frustration on top of that original and already negative feeling
✅ You dont get rid of a feeling/thought until you find out its “hidden usefulness”.
Below are some notes of a session i did with a student of mine and how she was using anxiety/social anxiety to avoid things in her life and accomplish certain goals (read image)
Want to get rid of the anxiety behind dissociation, and all the negative self-talk and overthinking that it creates? Book your free discovery call with me here
Giuseppe Tavella, Dpdr & Dissociation Specialist