Most people think that being confident means not showing insecurities or weaknesses, not showing emotion, not showing flaws, hiding stuff from yourself and convincing yourself and people you don’t have imperfections, or doing a few mental tricks to be confident. I’ll tell you what this is. This is masked insecurity and intellectual comfort not confidence.
The way I like to define confidence is that it’s REALITY TO THE FULLEST. It’s naked, raw reality stripped of any bullshit, stories, excuses, protections, mental comforts and objects you distract yourself with to avoid reality. Real confidence is about owning insecurities, facing stuff head-on, challenging protections and mental comforts, being proactive and not waiting for negative energies inside of you to accumulate but going and face them and head-on now. Real confidence is like being on top of your experience and owning the reality of how you feel and how things are.
After all if you could be more confident, why wouldn’t you be it? What’s the pleasure in limiting yourself? So it’s not that you are not confident, it’s that you don’t want to feel what that confidence ENTAILS – more responsibility, taking action, no excuses, exposure, more seriousness, discomfort, an overall feeling of rawness and “no protection and excuses to fall back on” in life – that’s what you are REALLY avoiding, and “low confidence” is a nice way to label this avoidance. From this comes that by owning whatever feeling and reality being confident entails, indirectly you are confident without even trying to be confident, simply by revealing and owning the secret subconscious benefits of not being confident. Enjoy and apply!
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– Giuseppe Tavella, Anxiety & Dissociation Expert