It sounds like a paradox to tell people to accept dpdr and anxiety but to stop accepting it right? Almost as if I’m contradicting myself? Well it’s a balance between the two. You want to ‘accept’ your situation right now and to reduce the reactivity towards it, and at the same time (though way more important) to solve the real problem that got you in this situation in the first place. 👌
As an example, feeling frustrated towards the fact that you feel anxious. Now you try to ‘remove’ the frustration towards the fact that you feel anxious and convince yourself that the reason why you are not getting better is because you are frustrated and you should ‘remove’ the frustration, as if that was the real problem, which is not, it’s just a reaction towards the real problem.
You might feel anxious simply because you are scared of being hurt, that’s it, leave it there, and the thing is that you will not see that until you stop reacting – reacting, regretting, frustration, impatience, more anxiety, more thinking, more desperation, more or these reactions will do absolutely nothing and just makes things worse. 😯
The link between what you think you should fix and what is the real problem can surprise you, and it’s extremely hard to see what the real problem even is if you keep reacting and adding layers of useless reactions, comments and preferences as if that was helping you. That’s why acceptance is the first step; It allows you to see what is the REACTION and what is the REAL/ORIGINAL problem.
Acceptance is nice but you also want to solve the real problem. People put so much pressure on themselves to accept, that acceptance becomes the new pressure that adds on the anxiety, stress and detachment they’re trying to accept.
Core beliefs, core wounds, pressure on oneself, emotional & identity confusion, denial and its ramifications, need for control – these are some of the real causes of dissociation and anxiety and you want to solve those. I explain them more in detail in this video. 🥰
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