If you go to a therapist that doesnt understand dpdr (almost everyone that is, and you know it very well),
they will listen to you for hours, and they will believe almost everything you say because you can convince them and yourself
thanks to the complexity and “logical seductiveness” of your explanations
Meaning that the more complicated and the more your explanations “make sense” the more you feel that what you’re saying should be true
But let me tell you something that perhaps you already know: If you stop right BEFORE you give a very rational answer, and you stay in the SILENCE, you notice that your feelings are there, waiting for you to meet them
Your feelings, the feelings that you’re desperately looking for are there, in that place behind and between those walls and labyrinths of logic 🧱❤ 🧱
To be in touch with your feelings and be empathetic, you have to be willing to surrender to not having answers, to remain without answers, to train your mind to live with the unknown and without answers
So while most therapists and psychologists ask you questions and they believe that what you’re saying is accurate (as far as emotions) and the complexity or your explanations equals truth..
..I know that part of dpdr itself is shattering precisely these walls of logic and helping you stay on your own, in quiet, with your FEELINGS — no answers, no logic, no explanations, no theories, no rationalizations, no philosophy allowed
I know this very well because even though im a therapist myself, though rarely, i resort to these old defense mechanisms made up of complicated logic when i feel overwhelmed or cornered
So dont worry, even i still do it once in a while 😌
Logic and being articulate and “being good with words and concepts” becomes the new distraction from feelings. A fancier, more complicated, more intellectual, more seductive defense mechanism — but a defense mechanism regardless
Most people will believe you, but not me 😉
So let me tell you this: It’s ok not to have answers. It’s ok to remain in silent with your feelings. It’s ok if people perceive you that you’re not articulate. It’s ok if you cant argue back. You will not die. Your life moves on.
If you’ve gone through the past which is the worse part, you can certainly deal with its memories. I know you can do this 😉
– Giuseppe, DPDR & Dissociation Specialist