Here’s a common mistake you make when recovering from dpdr/dissociation: You force yourself to imagine how normal feels like and force yourself to feel normal and calm 😯
How does it feel like to be normal? How do i know im gonna feel normal? How do i make it happen? Why am i feeling anxious, im not supposed to feel anxious, when is this gonna end? How do i know when i’ll feel calm?
Well let me tell you, it doesnt work that way ❌
Normal and calmness are not something you “achieve by doing something” or by “trying to figure yourself out” or by “imagining how they feel like and trying to achieve them by refusing how you feel right now and trying to feel calm and normal by overriding your current experience”
Those are just mental creations, mental layers, idealizations, expectations, avoidance, distractions – not actual feelings and reality and present moment
You want to feel present, calm and normal right? Then you need to start from how you feel RIGHT NOW no matter how much you dislike and hate it and no matter how much you’d like to feel something else and “change channel”
✅ Forcing yourself to imagine what normal feels like is not calmness
✅ Trying to find calmness is everything but calmness
✅ trying to imagine what normal is and mentally moving towards that in an attempt to ‘get’ it and trying to replace how you’re feeling right now (which you dont like) with this mental expectation, ideal, fantasy
Normal and calmness are natural states that you feel when you remove all these clouds of explanations, trying to figure yourself out, trying to fix yourself, trying to think how normal feels like, mentally moving towards this expectation/ideal and hoping that this mental creation replaces how you’re feeling right now
Simply put, you need to MAKE SPACE not TAKE UP SPACE 🎯
Make space for your real emotions in the present moment. How?
By refusing to create this mental compensatory stuff. By refusing to idealize how you should feel and comparing yourself to this ideal of what is ‘normal’. By refusing to overreact towards your emotions with extra emotions. By keeping the main emotion the main emotion.
This is HOW you make space in your mind and in your being
In THAT space, the real emotions will pop out on their own – no, you dont have to find or hunt for them
In THAT space, you effortlessly re-discovery calmness and being natural – no, you dont have to actively and frantically imagine how it feels like and mentally moving towards this expectation/ideal
In THAT space, the real you shines forth
Simply put, it’s pretty much the complete opposite of what you’ve been doing so far.
RELEASE THAT GRIP! If you want to enjoy birds flying, you need to let them go not keep them in the cage!
Giuseppe Tavella, Dpdr & Dissociation Specialist