What you dont feel in emotions you make up for it in overthinking
How much do you overthink, ruminate, re-iterate thoughts in your head as if you were running on an infinite hamster wheel and you feel an unconscious urge to ‘complete’ these thoughts, almost as if they want to go somewhere but cant find anywhere to go?
You see, the main engine that drives overthinking is unfelt and unprocessed emotions
Meaning that you can spend the next 10 years overthinking how a person hurt you, whats the meaning of this event, why it happened, what could have happened, what did this person have in mind, what could i have done wrong, what if this and that — and just avoid those few minutes of just feeling these emotions of hurt. Period.😅
You can spend years entertaining yourself in all these internal lateral activities outside the true emotions, that after so many years you even forget what the true feeling even is and instead you replace it with an intellectually edited version of the original feeling
(for example i dont feel hurt because [insert explanation], in my culture people like me dont feel this way because [insert explanation], i think that this feeling is [insert theory or justification to avoid the feeling], i read a book that said that these emotions [insert intellectual explanation on how the biology of feelings work], i shouldnt feel this because [insert what people feel instead of what you feel] etc.)
And this is how you become detached, numb and distant to the original emotions and instead either you feel nothing, or you feel an intellectually edited and altered version of the original emotion
So simple to just feel hurt for a few minutes instead of escaping from it for years and then having to do therapy to remove that protection, isnt it?
Yet im here to teach people not so much what to do (feel) but what NOT to do (all the lateral intellectual activities that cover up the real emotions)
The real problem starts when you avoid emotions, not when you feel them!!!
And overthinking is just an attempt to ‘keep alive’ those emotions by constantly re-iterating them, until they find an outlet and resolution
People think it’s painful to feel emotions. I say it’s MORE painful to avoid them and then living with years both with these repressed emotions, and with the protection
(dissociation, depersonalization, derealization, etc.)
that now becomes more painful than the initial emotions it was trying to protect you from
Make your choice: feel emotions or avoiding them? If you choose to feel, then you have to be willing to feel PAIN and NEGATIVE emotions too. Yep, theres no way around it.
But dont worry, your going to survive! 😃
To your success,
Giuseppe Tavella, Dpdr & Dissociation Therapist
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