“How is it possible that my mind is thinking such things? I always considered myself a good, loving, nice person, why am I in this situation? It’s not my fault! My mind is going crazy! 😯
I’m not feeling my old self! I want my personality back and be the positive person I’ve always been!”
People think that intrusive and irrational thoughts occur because their mind is going crazy, there’s something wrong with them, and because what their mind is saying now contradicts what they’ve always believed about themselves.
Comfortable way to see it I know, that you are just the victim having a crazy mind, but not realistic. 😬
All kinds of reactive answers, generalizations and rushed conclusions that have absolutely zero to do with the real problem. The real problem is that you’re ‘trying’ to be a good person, feel well at all costs, avoid negative at all costs. And what happens? That you’re creating more of it. 😏
Not only that, but that implies that there’s a part of you that is excessively worried in being a bad person and very invested in proving the opposite, that believes that negative feelings = you are a bad person, that doesn’t tolerate being angry because anger is bad and you should feel happy, that doesn’t tolerate anxiety because anxiety “ruins your day” – whereas in reality what really ruins your day is those rigid expectations on how you’re supposed to feel and the distance and mistrust you’re keeping towards your own emotions.
People think that they have no self because their mind is going crazy and because their mind is saying and showing all these nasty things and that “they’ve lost themselves”. Well it’s exactly the opposite.
You’ve tried all your life to be ONE person (example: perfect, no mistakes, no anger, no negative feelings) and actively fighting the negative OPPOSITE (example: feel no anger, anxiety is bad, feel always good, be positive, be nice, be selfless, always forgive) and now your mind is regurgitating all the stuff you had repressed all these years and that you thought you weren’t and you secretly believed you could escape from.
When you stop reacting and see things for they are, your subconscious is just looking for balance. Not to destroy your life, not to ruin your day – just balance, IF you stop escaping from yourself.
Deny that you are selfish and your mind will make sure that you are always selfless and excessive worries on appearing as a good person. Same goes for always forgiving and never being angry, always being nice and never rude, etc.
And as your conscious mind is worried in making a good impression, your unconscious mind is accumulating all that denied and repressed negativity in the background. Sooner or later that denied negativity is going to explode and your mind will start thinking completely the opposite, or you feel as if there’s an evil part of you that thinks and says these things, that a part of you doesn’t care about people, that you’ve lost control, lost yourself and don’t know who you are.
Simply put, what you deny now is going to backfire at you much stronger later on to the point that you’ll lose control, then you’ll keep fighting it with more fear and denial because you don’t know what’s going on and because “it doesn’t make any sense” – and here’s the recipe to create a mental and emotional chaos.
And now you’re complaining that your mind is going crazy and you are still convinced that you need to fix and “get rid of” the negative, when in reality the constant act of escaping from yourself is precisely what got you here in the first place.
So, WHEN are you going to stop escaping from yourself? Time to wake up and feel and face EVERYTHING not just the idealized positive.
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