Depersonalization Emotional Numbness – Can Depersonalization Cause Numbness? [REVERSE FEELING]

Trying to find an explanation for your emotions and understand what they mean before you feel them? 😏

The paradox is that you want to be spontaneous, quick, go with the flow, but at the same time you still want to have the control on how you feel and you get frustrated when you don’t feel what “you should feel”, you should feel more, you shouldn’t feel this, it doesn’t make any sense, it’s not the right time etc.

Finding an explanation, cause, meaning, answer, story, justification for your feelings before you immerse yourself in them. And on the long-term you start to feel numb. You start to feel detached from yourself. And what do you do? You try to “mentally fix it from above”. How?

By TRYING to feel, checking in, double checking, trying to so hard to feel, idealizing your old self and how much life was good back then, a constant mental effort in wanting and trying so hard to get your emotions back – and at the same time discarding spontaneous feelings when they come out of nowhere because they do not meet your logical criteria of how you’re supposed to feel in this moment – and instead of just feeling without knowing why, you REACT with fear, anxiety and panic.

It’s not a problem of not having emotions, it’s a problem of – you guessed it – CONTROL. 👌

These are quick mental fixes from above to an unconscious problem. The answer is found not in trying so hard, but in RELEASING that control! You don’t realize that you have the answer right in front of you, however uncomfortable it may be, the moment you stop trying so hard!

This constant mental effort of trying to change how you feel and editing your internal experience to another “more pleasurable channel” and forcing it to be different creates even more stress, overwhelm, chaos, distance with yourself. You want to be spontaneous but you’re not willing to ‘do’ what it takes be really spontaneous: LET GO OF CONTROL.

I call this “reverse feeling” and it’s a dissociative mechanism whereby you’re putting logical prerequisites before the actual experience of the emotion.

Learn how the solution lies not in ‘getting rid of it’ but understanding what this mechanism is doing for you and if you really need it, keep it! No one is forcing you to get better, you can always stay where you are!

Getting used to feeling WITHOUT KNOWING WHY and BEING OK with it is one of the biggest favors you can do to yourself. Funny enough the moment you stop looking for the why, precisely when you don’t care about it, that’s when the answer comes to you.

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