I can’t feel emotions because I’m numb and it’s genetic

I can’t be calm because I’m an overthinker and i like to think deeply on everything

I can’t be calm because I’m an anxious person and my mother is also an anxious person therefore this is my destiny

I can’t be present because I have dissociation and i used to dissociate because i was born in a very negative family and i had to escape from my parents

I can’t do this because i’m an anxious, numb, an overthinker, it’s genetic, because my past, because my family, because my parents told me, because this is the way it is, because blah blah blah

Now notice the pattern: On one side you say you want to improve, get unstuck, be free and all this positive and freedom stuff, and on the other side you’re like “nahh i prefer to identify with this problem, it’s easier, i don’t have to do any work”

✅ Stop using worries and negative as a way to connect to people

✅ Stop making problems and symptoms part of your identity and being affectionate to them

✅ stop being the victim of what happened and intellectualizing why “those events in the past” are linked to “this thing now that it’s hard to improve” and refuse to give power to explanations and justifications and constantly verbalizing and articulating the reasons why you cant improve, change, do, get better, achieve, etc.

✅ refuse to buy into this masochistic culture of “survivor of this”, “survivor of that”, diagnosed with advanced XYZ disorder etc, and refuse to feed negative and to make problems your identity. Stop using problems and symptoms as your business card, the first thing people have to know about you

✅ refuse to be proud of how much you are stuck, how complex you are, how incurable you are

✅ stop telling those boring stories of your past — because i was born in this family, because i had this trauma, because i have this complex problem, because this because that

✅ refuse to be treated as fragile because you have “a problem”

Stop these f** excuses and these dangerous identifications. You’re here to improve not to go against yourself and then complain about it

Hey I’m also a very sensitive person, and I’ve also had traumatic experiences, and also had to heal myself on a profound level for years, and I too was born in a negative family and we have many things in common

Other people in my position often have a more delicate approach and they treat you almost as if you’re broken and fragile which in turn subconsciously strengthens precisely these problems, traumas, whatever it is and gives you the indirect message “it’s ok to suffer. It’s ok to give yourself excuses. It’s ok to explain” 😏

Before the actual healing, you have to release these secret connections and sense of affection and identity you have with dissociation, overthinking, etc.

To your freedom 🙂

Giuseppe Tavella, Dpdr & Dissociation Specialist